Broken Hearted

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My mom has always said to me, “Love isn’t everything and that I should be able to be comfortable with myself before I try to love someone else”. It wasn’t until I was 16 that I found out that it wasn’t as easy to resist the illusion of love. At that age, I was so desperate to fit in that I did almost anything to have a boyfriend and make him happy so he’d stay. I think anyone at the age of 16 is vulnerable. Everyone is going through puberty, trying to figure out where they stand, and trying to decide where they want the rest of their lives to lead. I believed that love was the only thing I needed because I didn’t want to handle all the stress of my teenage years on my own.

When I was younger I was so afraid of being heartbroken or feeling unwanted. I was afraid of not being good enough. So my first heartbreak started when I weighed a hundred and forty-eight pounds. My ex, at the time, had told me to stay with him I had to weigh under a hundred and thirty pounds. Me being so in need of a boyfriend to be popular got caught up, I ended up losing those 18 pounds. I dropped down to one hundred and eight pounds because I love food and wanted some wiggle room. I did this to myself and truly lost confidence in myself. It was that day that I left him. It took me a while to find out that it was okay to have a broken heart. Love is not body shaming or mental abuse. Happiness was discovered in my first heartbreak.

5 Things I Learned About Being Broken Hearted:

  • The world does not end if your heart is broken. When that person is gone from your life, history will continue to move forward and so should you.
  • There is not just one way to be broken hearted. I used the example of an ex-boyfriend, but I have felt the same heartbreak from losing the best friends or an animal.
  • Although not everyone receives heart ache early on in life, it is a part of growing up and this growth happens in the process of moving past it.
  • Change. No matter how much you say that heartbreak shouldn’t change you, it should. It shows that you have learned something and if only for the better you should become that much more your final self.
  • With this change, DO NOT degrade yourself. Always change for the greater good. Don’t let this heartbreak change everything that makes you, you.

Where will happiness be discovered next?

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